Tests

I'm just learning about Alexis Martin Neely, the Intrepid Mompreneur. She has a very thoughtful post today about tests and purpose.

For me, this post is exactly on queue. For I am on a bridge. I am travelling from what I do for a living to what I want to do for a living.

What I do for a living is SAP Security Administration. I like it, but I don't have a passion for it. It supports my need for organization, process, growth and problem solving. It also supports my desire to have a nice, warm house in a nice neighborhood.

What I want to do for a living is raise alpacas and manufacture textiles. I have been interested in green farming and ranching for most of my life. I have been an alpaca breeder for nearly 18 months. I have become a weaver, spinner, knitter and alpaca shearer. I have discovered that I have talent and these activities are energizing for me.

Last summer, I traded my job as a program manager for this one as a security administrator because it would allow me to work remotely, eventually. Thus allowing no commute, flexibility and more daylight hours on the ranch.

So here's my test: I learned this week that with a little more experience I could be earning 3x my current rate if I went on my own and I am beginning a project that will provide that necessary experience.

Here's my dilemma:

One side: 3x is nothing to sneeze at. 3x would allow the acquisition of a better place for the ranch and mill. 3x would allow my husband to continue pursuing his passion. 3x would require me to find my own clients when I should be working on my own passion. 3x does not allow more time on my passion. I continue this dual life.

The other side: 3x could allow me to work 2/3 fewer hours for someone else and the rest on my passion. Ranch and Mill opportunity remains the same. Still need to find own clients while building my passion. I continue this dual life.

A third side: Stop doing what I'm doing. No ability to acquire ranch and mill. Squat in a tent on someone else's ranch and hope they don't notice the new alpaca herd over yonder. Singular life.

One more side: I'm on the right path and this is new information, not a test. Continue doing what I'm doing. Lead the project and gain the experience. Continue search for ranch and mill. Continue plan to relocate in spring and work remotely. New project should be done by then. Continue building networks for SAP security administration and alpaca products and services. I continue this dual life. Re-evaluate the sides once we have settled in our new location.

My decision is one more side. I hope I pass the test.